There are at least 3 types of transformations we can personally go on to create a happy and healthy life, and not one of them has to do with fitness. If you are in a less than joyous state right now I would consider evaluating your mental, relationships and/or career and prepare to transform your life. Let’s talk about it:
Mental
I am constantly mentally transforming. I enjoy evaluating consistently “Who I am”, “Where I am”, “The energy I am giving off”, and “The energy I am receiving”. I am okay with things being “my fault” and I am also okay with letting those around me know the changes I need for us to maintain a friendship or relationship. It’s important to communicate where you stand regarding people and their energy.
For me, mental transformation starts with that level of self-awareness and drive to stay in tune with the world and people around you. To be in a healthy place mentally you need to start from a place of being present.
There is a high percentage of people who are doing most things to please someone else. They say things because they think that is what people want to hear, instead of saying what they really want to say. The second part of mental transformation comes when you free yourself from the judgment and expectations of others.
When you free yourself with the understanding that not everyone is going to like you any way you can really start to thrive. In addition, knowing that your intentions when carrying
You know you need to undergo a mental transformation when you start denying the truth. Another tell-tale sign is when you wake up in the morning consistently, you do not feel great and the first thing you start thinking about negative things. If the first thing that you think about at the start of your day is things that bring no joy into your life there needs to be an adjustment made. That is not to say that you should only be thinking about puppies and rainbows when you wake each day but the overall outlook of what you think about whether it’s your task list for the day, your family or the weather should be from a positive perspective.
Take me for an example: When I wake up my mind is not clouded but it is covered in creative thoughts as I think about what I have to do in the day. That is how I know that I am happy. When I was struggling with anxiety a few months ago I would wake up and feel like I was in hell, fire and brimstone included.
Another great indicator of you needing a mental transformation is if the energy chains for the worse when you walk into places or situations. This requires you to really acknowledge the spaces you walk into.
Relationship
When people say that “Oh My God, relationships take work”, I look at it as such a negative connotation. From my perspective, I question do they really, or do they just take “attention”? I think you just have to give all aspects of your relationship’s attention. Some people look at that as work but I believe that a relationship is not a job. It’s a union that requires attention, communication and for the people involved to be open but it shouldn’t be placed in the same space as a job or work.
Scott and I sandwich our day with the connection. Before we go to the boys in the morning we kiss and before we go to bed at night we high-five, at a bare minimum. So many spouses don’t even do those simple actions anymore, losing the connection with one another. Even with friendships, when I see my friends I give them a hug and when I leave them I give them a hug. With my team, I check in with them, what do they need, how are they feeling at the beginning and end of each interaction we have with one another, the connection is important to me.
If you are looking at your relationship now and can only think about it as this huge pile of work, you may need a relationship transformation. Ask yourself when is the last time you and your spouse or love went out on a date? When is the last time y’all had sex? When is the last time you had a conversation longer than two minutes that was not about the kids? When is the last time you talked about anything outside of work for longer than two minutes? When is the last time you walked up to them and hugged them in the middle of the house and they weren’t caught off guard by it?
Career
If you have a whole mood that is not for your team and your team is keeping distance from you, you are in the wrong place. If you can’t make it through your workday without feelings of anxiety or contempt for being there, you need to listen to your gut. If you are only at that job for the money, maybe it’s time to consider a career transformation.
When I was an employee, I would only make decisions I was passionate about. I know you need money, we all need money to live but if you think you can only make money to support yourself in a situation or job you hate, you are wrong. You are doing yourself and your workplace a disservice by staying in a job that you don’t want to be at, can’t bring your best self to and see no future in.
Plain and simple if you aren’t doing something you love to do you are wasting your time.
If you are looking to start a self-transformation journey you can start here:
- Find and Read a book about the area in your life you are uncomfortable, scared or just struggling with. Recently, I picked up a book called “People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys” and it was perfect because I have been dealing with a situation where someone has been driving me crazy. I picked up the book and read it and it allowed me to see my situation better, find great tactics for dealing with my situation and I was more apt to take the advice because that author doesn’t know me but the words in the book outline exactly how I was thinking and feeling.
- Go to therapy. Talking to someone who doesn’t know you can help immensely, especially if you are having a hard time with self-awareness in any situation. A therapist will be objective and help you work through and find resources that support your growth and processing through each struggle and you don’t get trapped in just venting your problems.
- Find something that takes your mind away from the stress and anxiety that comes with that “thing”. Do more of what makes you happy. It is just as important in situations of struggle to identify what makes you happy as it is to identify what makes you sad.
In life, we have to follow our gut. Don’t force things. Whether it’s your relationship, your mind, your job, do not force it. You can work hard at something but forcing things is something completely different. For example, if you are forcing someone to love you, you are not listening to your gut. If you are forcing yourself to be in this job because you want to prove to your friends that you can make a lot of money, you are not in tune with your gut. If you are forcing yourself to appear happy when you are really stressed and anxious inside, you are not following your gut. Your gut is telling you, “You need a transformation”.
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