Let’s Talk Self-Love


I am an advocate of having internal conversations. The bases for any level of self-love is the conversations you have with yourself. Being in the career that I’m in, which typically requires me to be the center of attention, it is important to me to have conversations empowerment with myself. I have these conversations every single day no matter what I’m struggling with.

How I Practice Self-Love

I  start my self-talk, conversations with the things that I’m really happy. That could be in life, my business, my body or whatever!

My self-talk is rooted in the fact that I truly love myself. I think I’m wonderful, but that’s not to say that I think that I am wonderful all the time. I always find my way back to feeling good about myself.  If I’m having my own personal struggles about feeling good about who I am the first person I go to Scott and I talked to him about how I feel.

Time is very important. To often we make time for all the others that we care about but forget about ourselves. I give myself time.  I love taking time to myself. I love spending time with myself. It helps bring me back to one. Sometimes it’s the little things, in the small amounts of time with myself that can mean the most. For example, when I apply lotion to my hands. I don’t recall who I got this from but there’s something about the act of putting lotion on my hands that makes me feel good and pure and ready for something. I do it every night before I go to bed. It really brightens my spirits. It seems crazy that an act that takes minutes can really help to uplift me but it’s something that I identified I loved and I lean into.

One main thing that I do to practice self-love is living by the “Golden Rule”. “That is to do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” I think that being nice to people always has a kickback. I am just happy that I find a way to not cuss somebody out. That sounds very funny but it’s true. If there is a person that is really annoying me, and I can find a way to find peace and balance and make the situation better then I feel better about myself.

Self-love is important because if you cannot love yourself then everything that you give to anyone else will be emptying your tank. It’s just very important for you to constantly fill your own cup.

When You Are Lacking Self-Love

You know when you are suffering from a lack of self-love when you are always reaching. You’re reaching for love but a lot of times people don’t know that’s what you are reaching for. You’re just acting out in the way that is detrimental to everyone else. For instance, I know someone who because they haven’t worked on themselves or found a way to love themselves, they do everything for everyone else and are constantly expecting something in return. When they don’t get what they expect in return they keep doing other things to grab attention to pull energy from everyone else. It’s very easy to tell when someone’s doing something for recognition rather than actually doing it out of the kindness of their heart. If you are not giving yourself time and giving yourself energy and focusing on who you are (which for me had a lot to do with therapy) it’s going to manifest itself in different ways and actions that you’re not going to even realize. A lot of times you’ll see when you’re not loving yourself you’ll see people shy away from you or communicating with you less because you are not admitting to whatever is going on with you. Self-love is also admitting to the struggles that you have. The more vulnerable people are, the more open you are to let people know what’s really going on in your life. Most people think that that people want to see perfection and for me, it’s about seeing growth.

Creating Your Self-Love Practice

My self-love practice impacts my fitness journey because it allows me to remain grounded in the fact that I don’t have to compete or compare myself with anyone else. I know what I’m capable of.

One tip I can share on creating a self-love practice would be to find something that you enjoy that doesn’t require anyone close to you.  Going to do that thing gives you a sense of individuality and allows you to start taking time to yourself. Make sure you understand why you are doing it because it is not self-love if you are going to go do something by yourself because you are frustrated or disappointed in those around you. It has to be because you love doing “that thing” and not because you are running away from dealing with your emotions.

2 comments
  1. Thank you !! Love the motivation and support and the honesty!! Always appreciate you taking the time to share your stories and your personal journey .

  2. You give the best advice because it comes from a place that’s true and deeply all heart. I don’t know what would have happened to me if my body wasn’t cardio trained for over 3 years before a bad reaction to medication. It hurt me so badly and I’m still trying to recover over 3 years later. I’ve dealt with chronic pain since 2009, and into 2016 I was given prednisone and a strong ten-day dose and it knocked me out. It felt like I was just pain I couldn’t even feel my body or get up and walk. I did Insanity in 2012 and kept in Max Intervals. I had to exercise to keep the pain away. I got back in after I was dragged, pushed really, when I went to step out of my car and didn’t know it was in reverse(2014),after my shoulder was torn in a dog fight(2015), and went to every even in Connecticut until last year when I moved to Utah to see you. I was able to make the workout count in 2017 even though I was still so limited. I pressed on my circumscribed limitation and impressed myself! I’m trying to get back into it since it is the only thing that has helped me but I have such bad pain flares I can’t get out of bed sometimes. I believe in it though and I trust it. I never got my tee shirt because of not entering the results in 30 days, and it’s funny ‘cause I said I was doing it for the tee shirt. I cried about not getting it but now I think it gives me motivation to get through. Yesterday I did some 1-2-3 heismans, mountain climbers, and squat jabs with some valence and stretching. I want that tee shirt so bad! It so hard for me to do anything for an extended amount of time, even pushing buttons hurts me and I get exhausted so quickly. But, pressing play hurt when I was in Max Intervals too. I can do this. I wanted to say thank you. You are the heartthrob of motivation and I love you!

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