One-On-One Time with Your Kids

As parents of multiple children, Scott and I know the struggle there is to give each child individual attention while growing a business, flourishing in a career, strengthening our relationship and many other things happening in life daily. In the case of twins, this act gets a bit trickier because by nature you tend to think of the two of them as a unit. However, whether you have two kids or ten, each child is their own person and is looking to create an individual bond with their parents that show their love. Here is how I create one-on-one moments with Silas and Sander:

MAKE DELIBERATE EFFORTS

Though my specific circumstance may not be the “norm”, the thing to note about what I am about to share is the effort made. I travel a lot, no really, ya’ll see me on Instagram, always on a plane. In our family, I have a rule that I am not away from home or my family for more than 72 hrs and if I need to be then the family comes with me on that trip. Recently, while returning home from a trip Scott, the boys and I were walking in the airport, and I decided to take Silas and walk with him through the airport. It was the perfect time to walk and talk to him. I will grab one of the kids to go to breakfast with me or go to the mall because I know that it is very important to our connection that we do have one-on-one time with each of them. I also notice that it is better to go somewhere away from the full family when spending one-on-one time with the kids because it also forces them to engage with you instead of them getting distracted by other family members that may also be around.

COMMUNICATE NONVERBALLY WITH THEM

I consider nonverbal love the most important love that you can give a kid because you are not saying “yes” or “no”. In those moments, you are not being a teacher and showing them that there is always going to be someone here. I think that lasts forever and instills the “you can lean on me” feeling in your kids.

EXPLORE WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE INTERESTED IN

It is a bit easier when your children are younger but I feel like you should never stop exploring what interests your kids. If you stay ever present in their interests, you also can’t help but to spend one-on-one time and build your connection. For example, if your child comes home and is wearing gothic clothing, the first thing most parents would do is question “why are you wearing that?” When the parent should say “Hey, take me shopping. I want you to dress me, how you dress!” Or if you are a dad and your daughter is really into makeup, let her put makeup on you. When you go into your kids’ world and experience things from their perspective, it opens you both up and strengthens your connection. You will also be able to better guide in their experiences because they are more receptive and can feel your understanding.

There is no step-by-step guide on how to build strong relationships and connect with your kids, but if you make the effort I am sure amazing things will follow. Tag me on IG stories in selfies with you and your kid, so I can see and celebrate your one-on-one time! @ShaunT

2 comments
  1. I love this!! I recently took my 12 year old son to his first concert to see a band that he loves. He has been playing their music incessantly, and it was a great bonding experience. He said it was the best night of his life as we were leaving.

  2. There may not be a step-by-step guide about how to connect to your kids but this is an amazing set of guidelines right here!

    After having our second, the part you talk about “stepping away from the rest of the family” is such a valid point. From what I’m witnessing at least, it defuses the jealousy factor while creating that space needed to really bond in a deeper way.

    I feel like one of the biggest challenges with multiple kids especially is not letting fatigue dictate direction. It’s very hard…but this really goes for life…ANY moment – trust and believe you have that energy and let your goal of being there to grow with your children be the force behind it all.

    Thank you for this perspective! Truly helpful!

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